The author’s partner was in a coma before their wedding day.
Courtesy of Julia Noelle
After a botched wisdom tooth removal, my partner spent 10 days in an induced coma.With a few weeks left before our wedding, we decided to go ahead with the ceremony when he woke up.Our wedding looked different to accommodate my partner; he sat down during our vows.
Sometimes, life really does change in an instant. One minute, my fiancé Storm and I were on the couch, editing our wedding mood board and listing our guests’ dietary requirements. The next, he was in a medically induced coma after emergency surgery to drain an abscess in his neck muscles caused by a wisdom tooth removal gone seriously wrong.
What was intended as a 24-hour sedation turned into three days, then four, then five. Although his emergency surgery was successful, the infection had already started to spread through his body, leading to meningitis and then a minor stroke.
I visited his bedside every day, playing his favorite songs, updating him on his beloved soccer team, Liverpool FC, and reading messages from friends around the world — just in case, on some level, he could hear me.
This was all just a few weeks before our wedding day.
We decided to go ahead with our big day
Recovering from what ended up being a 10-day coma is no small feat. Storm was extremely lucky to suffer minimal side effects but had to stay in hospital for a further two weeks, undergoing regular MRI scans and blood tests to ensure his body was healing.
The wedding was the furthest thing from our minds. Yet, with the big day only four weeks away, I raised the subject once he was strong enough. It was Storm’s decision — once we’d got approval from his medical team, I was happy to make any essential adjustments but equally happy to delay or cancel the wedding altogether if he wasn’t up to it.
Frankly, by then, I’d have been content sitting at home and exchanging rings in our pajamas.
Storm decided he wanted to go ahead as planned. I was thrilled — even if I now had three weeks to buy a wedding dress, green-light all the wedding vendors, and tick off all the other tasks that needed to happen. I started emailing vendors and calling in favors — fast.
Two weeks after Storm left the hospital, we hit another bump. We’d gathered our bridesmaids and groomsmen to help us with practical wedding prep when Storm suddenly collapsed during dinner and was rushed back to hospital by ambulance.
An unexpected side effect from the coma led to another five days in hospital, with him being discharged just 10 days before the wedding.
Our wedding looked different
Most couples spend the final run-up sorting last-minute decorations, managing the guest list, or finalizing the seating plan. Ours looked a little different: I was taking Storm for check-up blood tests every three days.
Inevitably, the ceremony itself was also a little outside the norm. Shorter than usual, and with the two of us spending most of it sitting down, the groom sipped a mug of Coca-Cola at the altar to sustain his energy levels.
He and I also skipped the Champagne reception before dinner, heading back to our hotel for a nap and an episode of “Modern Family” to fortify us. At the party later, Storm took hourly breaks in the dressing room, with his friends taking turns to keep him company. It was not exactly the shape of the wedding we’d envisaged, but the love and friendship surrounding us made it more memorable than we could ever have envisioned.
The usual wedding traditions didn’t matter to us
The wedding industry would have us all believe that our weddings should be the happiest day of our lives to date. Such expectations often spell sky-high stress levels. I can confirm that visiting your partner in the intensive care unit for two very long weeks puts that kind of manufactured stress into stark perspective. For us, the stakes literally couldn’t have been higher.
All those little details that so many people worry about barely appeared on our radar. I hadn’t even booked any of the usual bridal beauty appointments many people have nailed in nearly a year ahead.
Still, our wedding was a magical celebration of love — a euphoric day full of laughter and celebrations. And yet, ask me what has been the happiest day of my life, and I’d answer without hesitation: The day my fiancé woke up from his 10-day coma and smiled at me.
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