I spent over $10K on a business coach who told me I was ‘messy’ and made me doubt myself. Here’s my advice if you’re considering coaching.

Alejandra Rojas is a trauma-informed finance professional and a money mindset mentor.

Courtesy of Alejandra Rojas

Alejandra Rojas started building her business as a finance mentor on social media as a side hustle.Rojas found a online business coach via their free workshop, then hired them for personal sessions.She said the coaching wasn’t the right fit and made her doubt herself as an entrepreneur.

Seven years ago, I overcame a five-figure credit card debt. I got into debt through mindless spending during my early career as a finance professional in Washington, DC. It took me seven months of cutting expenses and tracking every dollar to pay off my debt.

As a finance officer, it wasn’t easy to open up about my money mistakes, but I started sharing my story with people in my circle. Encouraged by their positive responses, I posted about it on social media and built a following.

I realized there was a need for better financial education, especially for women. I wanted to use my expertise to help others and build a flexible business but didn’t know where to start.

I first encountered online business coaches through blogs and podcasts for digital entrepreneurs. I found a coach who positioned themself as an expert in building profitable businesses.

This coach offered a free three-day online workshop on how to create a compelling brand story. The workshop featured many of their affiliates — people I was familiar with from my research — and past students. After the event, the coach pitched a paid course on building your business around a strong brand message.

I found the free workshop very helpful and thought their course would help me clarify my story and sign clients. The initial course cost around $1,000.

By the end of the course, I still didn’t feel confident about starting a business. The coach pitched one-on-one coaching program, a five-figure investment. I hesitated but thought this was the push I needed to succeed.

What the coaching promised vs. what it delivered

I had just finished paying off my credit card debt and was working full-time as a finance officer while building my business on the side. I didn’t have savings to pay for coaching, so I used a combination of my credit card and monthly cash flow.

I researched other coaches, but I didn’t want another general course. I’d already invested in this coach’s course, so it like a logical next step.

The coaching program was an hourlong 1:1 session once a week over seven weeks. The program would help me refine my story, create a business strategy, and start generating revenue.

However, the sessions felt unstructured. Each week, I would discuss my progress and ask for guidance, but there was no overarching plan. The focus was on reviewing if I’d completed what we discussed in the previous session. Often, my coach would repeat similar concepts rather than introduce new strategies.

The investment was not worth it to me

During the third session, I expressed my frustration with not progressing and feeling overwhelmed. In between meetings, I mentioned that some of the advice, like sharing personal stories that didn’t feel connected to my business, felt irrelevant.

That day, I told the coach outright that I preferred to spend time talking to people about their struggles instead of sharing my own stories.

To my surprise, the coach responded, “Maybe it’s not working because you’re too messy.”

Part of this comment stemmed from my choice to skip some of the resources they had provided, like a sales tracking spreadsheet and a guide on how to win sales calls (because I wasn’t making those calls yet).

It was also partly about me wanting to move ahead with multiple areas of my business instead of focusing on one thing.

The comment hit hard. I’d always been OK with juggling multiple projects, but for months after that session, I doubted myself. I believed that my “messiness” was holding me back.

Per the agreement, I couldn’t cancel or request a refund, so I had to keep paying for the coaching program even though I was no longer invested.

I stopped working on my business for a while and focused instead on my 9-to-5. By the time the final payment went through, I felt frustrated I had spent so much money and relieved that I didn’t have to revisit the tools and resources again.

After finishing my coaching sessions, I ditched the spreadsheets and went back to experimenting.

I followed my instincts and launched my business, The Brown Way to Money. Now, I run a platform that offers money management, financial literacy support and financial education dedicated to women entrepreneurs.

About a year ago, when I became pregnant I had to delegate tasks to what is now my team. I realized that my “messy” approach was actually my strength. People commented on how surprising it was that I could juggle so much.

What I wish I had considered before investing

I don’t see my first coaching experience as a complete failure. It taught me that I am ultimately responsible for every business decision.

I’ve worked with coaches who have significantly contributed to my growth as an entrepreneur, but it took years before I felt ready to invest again.

By that point, I had a better understanding of my goals and what stage I was at with my business. This made it easier to hire a coach to help me build specific skills I couldn’t develop alone.

Here’s what I wish I had considered earlier:

Clearly defining my goals and desired outcomes: I now take the time to outline what I want to achieve with a coach. I discuss my goals with the potential coach beforehand to ensure we’re aligned and have a clear path to reaching those outcomes.Researching the coach’s expertise and relevance: Now, I look into their social media, reviews and, when possible, speak with past clients to understand their approach. Their expertise needs to align specifically with the stage of my business and my goals.Adopting a return-on-investment mindset: Instead of assuming the coaching experience will “work” on its own, I focus on how I can capitalize on the skills and knowledge I’ll gain. I evaluate whether the potential ROI is clear and sufficient before committing.