Samantha Salem, 37, and Jess Rodenburg, 38, have formed a Kansas City ‘mommume’ with their six kids in total.
Courtesy of Samantha Salem
Samantha Salem, 37, bought a big $275,000 house planning to rent the basement out on Airbnb. After her HOA forbade Airbnb, Salem’s friend moved in with her kids, paying $1,000 a month in rent.Now the two single moms are raising and homeschooling their six kids under age 16.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Samantha Salem, a 37-year-old real-estate agent in Lee Summit, Missouri, a suburb of Kansas City. She is a single mother to three kids who formed a “mommune” with her friend and colleague Jess Rodenburg, also a single mother to three kids. The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
I have three kids, ages 16, 15, and 9.
The parenting structure with my ex changed where the kids would be staying with me full time. I needed more space and got an incredible deal on a four-bedroom house for $275,000. I bought the house three years ago, in February 2020. It definitely needed work.
When I realized how much space it was, I started thinking about house hacking. I thought if I made the basement space livable for someone else to rent, I could get some extra cash flow while still living here.
Salem’s home in Lee Summit, Missouri.
Courtesy of Samantha Salem
I spent $22,000 finishing the basement. I turned the wet bar into a full kitchen. I turned the half bathroom into a full bathroom with a tub. The bedroom down there was already huge, almost the size of two bedrooms.
It was easy to make into separate living quarters. It’s a walkout basement with its own door, so it’s very easy for anybody to stay there with private access.
I started listing it on Airbnb in July 2021, which was great. I was able to make $10,000 in two months, until my HOA decided that they didn’t want that. They sent me a letter and made me shut it down.
Before-and-after images of Salem’s downstairs renovation.
Courtesy of Samantha Salem
So now I had this empty, very beautiful, furnished one-bedroom apartment. At first, family and friends would stay down there when they came into town.
My friend Jess moved in temporarily at first — now we have our own little ‘cult’
Jess has been my friend for a very long time, and she also works with me.
We originally met through a community group for Lee Summit. I live in Lee Summit because it’s a really good place to raise a family. We have the highest-rated school districts on the Missouri side in the Kansas City metro. It’s very calm, and only 20 minutes from downtown.
Jess opened a coffee shop, and then she supported me as my real-estate career grew.
Now, she’s the social media manager and creative director for my real-estate team. She’s a single mom, too, also with three kids, ages 11, 9, and 7.
She was in a situation where her lease was up, she needed to move, and she was traveling for the summer. She moved in temporarily at first.
Salem said the kids get along great, but she and Rodenburg have to keep their cats apart.
Courtesy of Samantha Salem
We just clicked. Both of us were like, “Wait, I really like this setup.” It was just working really well. The kids were entertaining each other, and it’s really nice to have another adult in the home.
We are more productive when we’re together in terms of business, and our kids are more entertained when they’re together. Plus we homeschool all of them, so it’s easier to lump all of them in one place.
Jess says she’s a lunch lady now because she has so many plates of food to make at once. We have our own little cult going on.
Jess pays $1,000 per month towards my monthly payment of $3,500, which includes mortgage, utilities, and HOA fees. It seemed like a fair split since I have about 70% of the house.
Her options in the same price point in this area were not nearly as good. Most comparable spots would be closer to $2,000.
The downstairs apartment where Rodenburg lives with her three kids.
Courtesy of Samantha Salem
It wasn’t a hard discussion — it made sense to both of us.
It’s not for everyone, but coliving has been a lifesaver for us
Single-mom life is not easy. It seems like the best way through it is to unify. It’s so nice to have another person in the home, just being able to rely on somebody else if you know things are needed.
It’s been so much less stress having them here. We text each other if we need help with anything. Like last week, she needed someone to pick up a cake for her son’s birthday, and I was able to send out my oldest daughter.
We can watch the kids for each other if there’s an appointment or work stuff comes up. The kids rely on both of us and we rely on each other.
Rodenburg’s children Thomas, 9, and Charlotte, 7, enjoy the backyard.
Courtesy of Samantha Salem
The kids go up and down whenever they want, but we really haven’t had problems respecting each other’s space. We have a really nice big backyard that looks over a soccer field and a playground, so the kids are always in the back. There’s a lot of room for everybody.
The hardest part is honestly just the laundry. We have so much of it with so many kids in the house. Also our cats. The kids get along so well, but the cats don’t. I have four cats upstairs and she has two cats downstairs.
The most important piece is communication — and boundaries, just understanding healthy boundaries for each other. Knowing deep down inside if you are a person that knows how to share, because sharing is going to be a big part of this, too.
It is not for everybody. But with Jess, our brains are intertwined. We finish each other’s sentences. It’s a soul-sister connection.
